boy oh boy

that was an accidental breath of air
that wasn't needed, an illusion
i felt guilty because i was being unfair
to him, to me, to us
but i'm not here to look for fake lust.
another person comes along,
and he seems to great to do me wrong
but is he the one
i've been through this before,
it's all in fun, till reality knocks on the door.
hopefully this goes well, it seems so
let's make this a new experience
in with the new, out with the old.

dictionary meaning of

the first time, i told myself he'd be mine.
then he asked me to be his, and i said no.
so he left, and i said go.
but he turned around, came back to me.
so i thought to myself, i think it's meant to be.
then i did it again, i walked out on it
but he kept asking, so why not another hit?
i couldn't take it, too many mixed thoughts
started avoiding him, but then got caught.
now it's done, and i realized something
maybe those weren't just flumzy feelings.
i think we should try this again,
but what's the use if this is what happens when
we start all over, try to save it
and then, i quit?
whattttt is WRONG with me?
i know he's SO right, but i always pick fights..
i think i'm just scared, because he actually cares.
and now he misses me, and i kinda miss it too
maybe another shot, it could pull through.